Chris Schmidt (crschmidt) wrote,
Chris Schmidt
crschmidt

Talking to people 4/28/2001

Ever had a conversation that just really made you think about what you were doing with your life? well, i have lots of em, and i'll have to add today to the list i have em. Topic today was how much i'm missing cause i don't like to go to plays/movies/etc. without someone else. Is it my fault that i'm so insecure that i'm scared to do stuff by myself? is it a problem that i prefer sitting at home to walking into a roomful of people who always seem to know me, but i've never seen before in my life? is it a big deal that i don't go out every weekend, that i don't see every movie, just cause i can't get someone to go with me? Some people seem to think i'm missing out on a big part of my life just because i don't do all these things. I have never been of this opinion, and in general i don't let what other people think of my control what i do, but this seems to be a big deal, so i'm gonna start trying. I'm going to go to movies i really want to see by myself, instead of trying to get someoen to go with me and then giving up when they can't. I'll start going to the plays (i guess that's a bit late for this year). I won't be so reluctant to say "It's just me today, thanks!" Will this make my life more enjoyable? Damned if i know - if i had thought it would before today, i might have done it. But according to the person i talked to today, it will. Is it fun to go to the movies by yourself, to sit for 2 hours and just enjoy it, as opposed to being there to enjoy not only the movie, but the company you keep? I don't know - i never thought so before today. But I was told different, and so i figured i'll give it a try (at least to a certain extent). It can't get any worse i suppose, unless people begin to think i'm even more of a dork (hard to imagine, i know) because of it. But even that wouldn't be so bad, i suppose. So, when you see me walking into a movie theater, there may no longer be a lovely lady hanging on my arm every time - consider it an oppourtunity. On a logistics note - i've only been keeping this diary for a week, and it's grown to 15k in size. I think i'll begin archiving them by week, so the file doesn't get totally unmanagable. Also - I saw the play tonight, it was pretty cool. Incredible set, and it was fun to see a bunch of actors running around the theater wimpering and stuff before hand. (Can you tell i like to lord it over other people?) If you get a chance tomorrow, check it out. And if you like DMB and don't have their Live at Red Rocks CD, you should go buy it - definatly worth the money. Night everyone!
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