Anyway, after her history post last night, I started reading over her journal history: I'm now mostly through October of 2002. (yes, I'm slow.) I've left more than a dozen comments in the process.
It's nice to look back. I'ts also interesting because it's a part of Jess's life that I never actually saw: this is from the time before we met. I've heard a number of stories -- some that are contained in the journal, some that I can only see between the lines, because I know what happened.
It's a very weird reminder of the roots of our realtionship. It's also so weird to think that I've been on LJ for less than a year while I *haven't* been dating Jess. (I mean, it makes sense. It's just weird.)
I've dropped off from posting my internal monologue here recently. I think that's a mistake. I'm not entirely sure what to do about that: I feel like a lot of my 'more interesting' internal monologue is so... negative. I mean, when I'm happy, I don't do a lot of thinking; I sit back and enjoy the ride. But when I'm unhappy, a lot of negative energy runs through my head, and putting that into my journal -- even though it's true -- seems almost cruel to the people in my life, like Jess/Kristan/other local people who might be the reason that I feel like things aren't going right or what have you.
I don't know, but reading the history here on LJ, I am pretty convinced that I'm missing out on something pretty important by being factual and upbeat. I guess I should give providing a more complete picture a shot, and see what happens; worst comes to worst, I do it a couple times, and be done because it ends up hurting someone.
I'm sleepy. Is it naptime yet?
