Chris Schmidt (crschmidt) wrote,
Chris Schmidt

Strange Memories

In second grade, a good friend of mine was running by me coming in from recess. For some reason, I stuck my foot out and tripped her. She scraped her face up on the asphalt pretty badly -- she had a scratched up face for weeks. I felt so horrible afterwards. I still have no idea why I did it. There was no explanation at the time, and no explanation now.

Why did I do it? Why would I want to hurt someone like that? I don't think I wanted to seem cool, or impress anyone. But I did it for a reason. I must have had some thought running through my head when I stuck my foot out.

I wonder if I was in the same situation today, if I would do it again. I hope I wouldn't -- especially not knowing that she would actually be hurt. I keep thinking that I didn't actually mean to hurt her, I just wanted to be playful and trip her for some reason, but that simply doesn't make sense.

It bothers me that I have memories of doing things, and no memory of why I did it. I seem to recall that even at the time I didn't know why I did it thoug, I just did. Thought that doesn't really make things any better.

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