Chris Schmidt (crschmidt) wrote,
Chris Schmidt

Celebrity Jeopardy - Speech, Junior Year

Celebrity Jeopardy Script, used as part of a Radio Show done in a speech class. Written, almost entirely, by me, with help from some of the other names mentioned here.

Chris: Good Evening, and welcome to Celebrity Jeopardy. An here's your host: Alex Tribeck!

Jeopardy Music

Ashley: Thank you, and welcome to celebrity Jeopardy. Our celebrities tonight are: Sean Connery,

Justine: Welcome to the rock.

Ashley: George W. Bush,

Lauren: I have my strategery all planned out. We can peacefully coexist with fish.

Ashley: and the Cast of TJ hooker

Wayne's world clip

Ashley: Well, let's begin. Our categories for tonight are:
Numbers less than 10 but greater than 8.
Foods that end in -amburger
The Presidents
Gameshow Hosts
70's cop Shows
Sean, since you're our returning champ. well, you're not the champion, but you are back. I mean, a champion has to win, right? And you never even score any points, much less win the game. Do we even invite you here? Or do you just show up? WAIT HERE Moving on. Please select a category.

Justine: I'll take foods that end in -amburger for $10,000.

Ashley: I'm sorry, but the highest value is $500. The answer is: This traditional American food is served in McDonalds' across the country. It begins with Ham. When coupled with cheese, it is called a cheeseburger.


President Bush?

Lauren: Don't mess with Texas.

Ashley: I'm sorry, but that is incorrect. And I was not attempting to mess with Texas, so I apologize for any misunderstanding.

Mr. Connery?

Justine: What is. Pastrami on Rye.

Ashley: Pastrami on Rye? What are you thinking? That doesn't end in -amburger? And if you add cheese, it doesn't become a cheeseburger! It becomes pastrami and Cheese on Rye. Anyway, lets move on before I get angry. Mr. Connery, it is still your board.

Justine: I'll take the Presidents for $500.

Ashley: And the answer is: This man recently became our 43rd president, after a drawn out election process.


Mr. Bush?

Lauren: What is a Hamburger?

Ashley: I'm sorry, that is incorrect. It was, however, the correct answer to the first question. Mr. Connery or the cast of TJ Hooker? Any guesses?


Mr. Connery?

Justine: Who is Sean Connery?

Ashley: Sean Connery? Are you claiming that you are the 43rd president? Once again Mr. Connery, you are incorrect. We must move on now. The correct answer was George W. Bush. The next category is: numbers less than 10 but greater than 8. The answer is: This number starts with a letter n, and follow 8 when counting. IT is an integer, and is known by all people above the age of 5.


The cast of TJ hooker?

Heather: Is it 3? I think that comes after 8.

Ashley: 3? When you count? Do you say 8, 3, 10? NO! INCORRECT! Wrong! Does anyone else have a guess?


Mr. President?

Lauren: Who is George W. Bush?

Ashley: No, I'm sorry, that is incorrect. The correct answer for question #2 was George W. Bush. Mr. Connery?

Justine: You da man now, dog!

Ashley: I understand you say that in your latest movie Mr. Connery, however, it is still incorrect. The correct answer was 9. 8, 9, 10. Our next category is Game Show hosts. I'd like to take a moment to remind you that you are playing jeopardy, and my name starts with A, and ends with -lex Tribeck. The answer is: This game show host is well known for his popular TV show, jeopardy.


Mr. President?

Lauren: What is the number 9.

Ashley: NO! That is incorrect. Please, someone else get this right.


Cast of TJ hooker?

Heather: Um, vanna white?

Joe: Tame your hair, woman.

Ashley: No. Mr. Connery, I remind you again that you are playing jeopardy, and my name starts with A, and ends with -lex Tribeck.

Justine: Dragons can not die.

Ashley: NO! the correct answer was ALEX TRIBECK! ME! My name is Alex Tribeck, and you are playing jeopardy! Don't you get it? We must move on though. The last category is 70's cop Shows. The answer is: This 70's cop show featured Heather Locklier as a female cop working with her two male partners.


Mr. President?

Lauren: Who is Alex Tribeck?

Ashley: No Mr. President that is once again, incorrect.


Mr. Connery?

Justine: Bond. James Bond.

Ashley: No, that was not a cop show, that was a spy show. Nice try though Mr. Connery. Cast of TJ Hooker, you guys might wish to take a stab at this one.

Jim: Is it Dragnet? That was on in the 70's, wasn't it? I think that it was Dragnet.

Ashley: Were you ON Dragnet heather?

Heather: Um, I think so. wasn't I?

Ashley: No, you were not on Dragnet. The correct answer was TJ hooker. Moving along to our final jeopardy round. President Bush is in last with -$750. Mr. Connery is running a close second at -$650, and The cast of TJ hooker is winning with -$500.
Our Final Jeopardy Question is in the category of people. And the answer is; This is your name. Only your name. Nothing else. Go ahead.

Jeopardy Think Music

Ashley: And now the time has come to reveal our winners. Mr. Bush, you're in last, so we'll look at yours first. And your answer was: TJ Hooker. I'm sorry Mr. Bush, that is incorrect. And your wager was: lockbox. Well, at least you won't lose any more money. Sean Connery, what was your answer? What is TJ Hooker. No, I'm sorry, that is not your name. And your wager was nothing. Well, that's one way of doing it, but it won't gain you any points. Cast of TJ Hooker, can any of you write your name? You drew an infinity symbol. I'm sorry, that is incorrect. And your wager was suck it Tribeck. Cute, really cute. Well, it looks like once again we have no winners on Celebrity Jeopardy. Join us next time on Celebrity and we'll see if we can get a winner. Thanks for watching.

Jeopardy Think Music

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