August 27th, 2002


(no subject)

Sarah is worrying me.

As most of you know, she and I are still going out. I love her with all my heart. To stop loving her would be like stopping breathing - I could never do it, I don't think. I'm worried about turning it into a "needy" realtionship like so many of these big age difference ones are, but that's one of the things I'm just giong to have to deal with. I'm willing to give it a try, to work through it.

Sarah is scared. She thinks we're going to grow apart, largely because we've moved away from what we used to be. Of course, we used to be on the computer for 6-8 hours a day talking about everything from pie to LOTR. We were both highly depressed lonely high schoolers. We would talk about anything just to talk to someone. It makes sense that we dont' do that anymore... I don't know if that's what she expected it would always be or what? Right now i've worked out that I'm going to try hard to not grow apart. On Friday we'll reevaluate and gauge any differences in the way our relationship is going.

I hope that we can keep this together. I really think with effort we can. I hope that she realizes this. I want to be with her for a loooooooong time. and that isn't going to change. It may take effort, but i'm willing to do it. I'll move to wherever she is after I finish college. She doesn't have to come here... I could survive my senior year without her if she and i get through the other 3.

I hope that she is just goign through a period like i have always done. Things come in cycles, and night time is always the worst. *Hopes and prays things work out okay*

School is going okay. I got my bike back *cheer* and tomorrow is quad day. Classes start on wednesday with a monday schedule. ( Schedule ) I'm excited but scared at the same time. at least monday isn't my hard day. In fact, it's a really easy day - not even any chem to be seen. ;)

I'll write more tomorrow, i promise.
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