August 2nd, 2002

photogeek

college

I'm scared.
My family is pissed because I don't want to do anything. They dont' understand that me hiding away is my way of saying that i really don't want to do this. i don't want to pack, i don't want to find out how much college is goign to cost, i don't WANT to LEAVE! Every morning I wake up and cry because I realize it's one day less that i have to spend with sarah, one little chunk out of my next three weeks that i don't get to use.
i don't want to go. I'm not ready, and i never will be.
  • Current Mood
    scared scared
photogeek

AP English, 7th Hour

Was Lost, Now Found

Spinning
Wildy through the abyss
People pass through
But mean nothing.

Out of the shadows
Comes a light
A guide...
A force.

It shines
More than ever
It glows.

Pulled
Like a moth to light
I am pulled
against my will

I resist!
I pull back!
But it is too strong

In the end...
Peace. Happiness.
The unfelt joy returns

And I?
I live again.
The swirl has stopped.
And I am at peace.


Throughout high school I’ve felt as if I was being left behind. I’ve felt as if I was missing some key element that everyone else knew. But in the end of my senior year, I’ve found something to give my life some kind of worth. All that bitterness I had built up inside from feeling left out for so long finally escaped, and I felt free. This poem expresses exactly how I’ve always felt. No longer do I merely drift through life - I now find that I can relate more closely to many people. I’d always felt lost and left behind, but with the stability recently provided in my life as I approach the end of my senior year, I am able to truly appreciate life for what it is worth - not just the grades, not just the learning, or how many extra-curriculars I particpate in, but the people I deal with. The relationships between myself and others have always been the key to existence. I live again... I am at peace. This revelation has occured after the long time I spent floundering through. In the past people would pass through, but mean nothing. Even when the situation presented itself, I held back at first, not realizing that the true path to happiness lay through the barriers of personal relationships. Over time, I worked this out, and am now at peace.