"It's gone.... the shuttle."
It just fell apart.
Erin put it better than I ever could have.
"You know when we went to Washington DC in 8th grade, and we were at arlington? We looked around at the graves and statues and monuments and marvelled because we "knew" that nothing like that would happen to is, because that stuff was over. Then in the past 2 years or so we've seen so much bad stuff happen...it's disappointing, I guess, to realize that the world will always be a scary place and it only gets more so the older you get."
I can't even talk. I look at names on my buddy list, I look at people, I look at entries you all have made onto my friends page...
There's nothing I can say. To any of you. I have nothing to say.
Reading about Challenger always made me upset. I would start to tear up, I would get depressed. This happened for many reasons: my love of the space progam, my feelings for the people, and so on. Now I look at pictures of the people on the shuttle, just doing their jobs, and it makes me so sad... They're happy. They were just enjoying themselves. They were doing their jobs, they were working in space. They were having fun. There are pictures of Ilan Ramon eating cornflakes in microgravity, floating them into his mouth.
I never had anything that could have been called a "where were you when" before 9/11/01. I thought that those kind of things didn't happen so much anymore. We were safe. Our president was protected, our people were safe. We were the United States, with definite pronounced capital letters.
I was sitting at my desk. I opened my email, found a comment that said "Did you hear about the Columbia?" Not having a clue what was going on, I checked my friends page and decided I would figure it out later. So much for that. The first entry on my friends page is by Ralesk, talking to someone asking for prayer for Isreal because they lost an astronaut. Through the discussion, I realized what had happened - at first, I didn't know that the US was involved. I went to IRC, and this:
[11:04] <crschmidt> whoa, what happened that i missed?
[11:04] <crschmidt> columbia?
[11:05] <GFM> some explodey thing... i don't know
[11:05] <Sati> it exploded over texas
[11:05] * UrsaMajor nods and :(s at chris
[11:05] <crschmidt> shizzit.
I went to google, and picked the first news story I could find, which was http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/5083197.htm .
They have video now of the shuttle actually falling apart. Those people will never do anything again: they'll never talk to their families, they'll never see their friends.
I don't know what to say. I don't think there is anything I can say.
I just want to crawl away and never come back.
I was at my computer desk, wearing a t-shirt and boxers, and crying. I wish the world wasn't here.
p.s. Dear Lord, a man lost his daughter. He lost his son in 9/11. (and if i'm wrong on that, it's what i heard, i'm sorry.)
I don't know about any of you, but I'll be praying. I don't know what else I can do.