Chris Schmidt's Journal

27th May, 2009 at 11:14 am

Rain, rain, go away

You know, I'm not one to generally complain about the weather. And certainly I can recognize the benefits of the rain for keeping the pollen down, which is making my allergy problem of yesterday significantly less important. I love a good thunderstorm, and blizzards too.

No matter how much I try though, I can't like when it's pissing down rain, and cold. Warm and pissing down rain is fine, but 50 degrees and spitting rain in May just sucks.

I thought the *April* showers were supposed to bring the May flowers? (And what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!)

High levels of weather variability are also somewhat suck.

That's my thoughts for the day. (Yeah, I'm pretty braindead.)

(The response, from GargantuanCoho? "Zombies attack! They're attacking from everywhere! You only get one weapon! What do you chose?" I think the right answer to that is "The Automatic Shotgun", right? Unless there's a holy-water spray bottle, in which case I might have to go that route.)

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From:

lonescorpion
Date: May 27th, 2009 - 03:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

The automatic shotgun is, of course, The House of the Dead's solution to the zombie problem. It utilises the firepower and dependability of a traditional shotgun but cranks up the firerate to more useful levels during the zombie holocaust, in which the fuckers are presumably everywhere.

I generally tend to go for high firerates over strong firepower, since generally a clean headshot is all the damage you really need on the undead and blowing the head clean off and splattering it over the walls is quite dangerous when dealing with zombies - their blood is a serious organic biohazard, and you don't want to get much on you, if at all. So my weapon of choice is the nearest available military grade assault rifle, preferably one with an instruction manual as I've never actually handled a real one before.

Holy water is unlikely to do jack squat against them - save that for the vampires, who are most likely the ones controlling the zombies in the first place. Chainsaws are also a good choice for close-quarters zombie fights, as zombie's are rarely nimble enough to argue - but you do have to be sure you know where you're going to get your fuel from. And, as always, watch where the blood splatter goes - wear eye goggles and mouth guards if you've got them.

Whatever you do! Don't be tempted to go for incendiary firearms, especially not flamethrowers. Setting zombies on fire will definitely kill them, but they have a nasty habbit of running towards you as fast as they can while on fire, and when there's thousands of the cunts then you quickly find yourself becoming roast brain sandwich. If there's a chemical component to the zombie phenomenon then setting them on fire is likely to do even more harm, as the ashes then start spreading the zombigenic chemicals around the air. If you do have explosives, give them to someone who knows how to use them - as in, someone who's actually been in the armed forces or something. (Mostly likely, you'll elect them in charge of your survival party anyway, as combat experience is everything in zombie survival.)

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